So I’ve been driven to try this once more. They say in order to get better at something you need to fail a couple million times. I may have roughly (at least!) 10 abandoned blogs in the past 10 years so that has to account for some personal growth, right? I can at least be proud of how my writing has evolved from my humble Xanga beginnings.
With that said, it has come to my self-realization that I have become “that” person on personal social media outlets. While there may be a list of “types” of Facebook friends that come to mind, I am unfortunately at the lowest, most inner despicable ring – people with opinions about race and politics. Super cringe worthy, right? Don’t worry, my feelings aren’t hurt in the least.
In fact, I’m so well aware of this now that I decided to turn my efforts into something a little more tangible in terms of tracking my reading and a lot less abrasive to those unwilling to hear about how I feel about something they never thought about until today. The irony is that I am probably one of the most unapologetically opinionated individuals that you will ever meet, but I am still worried about your feelings of me shoving what injustices I came across on social media that day. As much joy as I get out of making people uncomfortable, I want that lack of comfort to stem from the realization of something new not because I annoy the shit out of you.
Truth of the matter is, I really do edit what I have to say to fit the attention span parameters of my audience on that media. So what do I do to emphasize on a text outlet that does not permit bolding or italicizing? CAPS LOCK, BABY! It makes everything look so much more urgent when all capitalized not to mention one usually reads phrases construed of all upper case letters as if someone was yelling in their head. I do love that part.
Unfortunately the world around me gives me enough fodder to hit Publish on every headline that churns my insides and makes me want to cry out in disgust. There is so much ugly in the world and all I seem to do is share what horrors I’ve learned with the people around me more often unwilling than not. But I just can’t NOT say anything.
I can’t just sit there and watch this shit fly past my face every day. I can’t let people not know about how our fellow man or woman suffers at the hands of oppressors in all shapes and forms. I don’t want people to walk all over me because I’m afraid of telling people how I feel and what makes me feel that way so they can hopefully stop. Is it so wrong to have an opinion?
Recently I have been facing some backlash for speaking my mind, for getting mad at stuff that is actually more offensive to me, and worse for sticking up for something I believe in. I’m no martyr, but I do feel the need to speak up when I feel so backed up against the wall.
So that’s what this is. Nothing more, nothing less. Just how I view the world with my unique perspective just as yours is special and different than mine. And until I have a completely altered idea of what it is to be American, I’m going to keep speaking my mind, stay true to my heart, and love the differences I’ll face everyday.